


i try to picture me without you (but i can’t)

by skyewart



Series: immortals [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M, Inhumans (Marvel) - Freeform, Post-Episode: s02e10 What They Become
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3241475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyewart/pseuds/skyewart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tell me what happened."</p><p>"I already did." She protests, her voice on the verge of breaking.</p><p>"To you, Skye. Tell me what the hell happened to you."</p><p>And only then does Skye realize what the expression on his face is.</p><p>It's desperation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i try to picture me without you (but i can’t)

**Author's Note:**

> series and story title are from fall out boy - immortals

Skye can't sleep.

She feels like she's had about sixty cups of coffee and if she jumped right now, she would surely go through the roof.

There's so much energy bubbling inside of her and it's unbearable to lie still in the bed.

Beside her rapidly beating pulse, Skye hears the other two people's slow and languid breathing.

Both Kara and Ward are asleep, they have been for hours.

Skye's mind is exhausted, but her body is wide awake.

It's beyond frustrating.

 

Finally giving into the temptation, she sits up.

Skye checks the time - 5:02am - and bounces off the bed as quietly as possible.

Pacing the length of the room seems like an okay idea but somehow the tiny bit of sky, she can see from behind the curtains, calls to her.

Picking up the gun she left on the table earlier, Skye quietly unlocks the door and slips out of the room.

It's cold outside, not cold enough to have her teeth chatter but enough to wrap her arms around her middle.

Skye walks away from their room, towards the deserted parking lot.

There's a pink tilt to the horizon far in the east and Skye sits down on the gravel to watch the color spread slowly.

Remembering her training with May, Skye takes a deep breath through her nose. Holding the air in her lungs for a few second, Skye tries to relax before slowly exhaling through her mouth.

She repeats the process over and over again until she catches a glimpse of the sun.

 

"Skye?"

All her hard work goes to waste when his voice makes her jump and the tingling in her fingers rushes out of her.

It feels like a tidal wave of pure power is flowing out of her, vibrating as it does so and the force makes her want to throw her head back and laugh.

It's amazing and completely terrifying at the same time.

The gravel beneath her rumbles and Skye is dimly aware that she isn't alone.

She turns her head slowly.

 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Ward says once their eyes meet and approaches her.

"You didn't." Skye lies blatantly, turning back to watch the rising sun.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" Ward asks and from the corner of her eyes, Skye sees him looking at the ground underneath her.

Skye clenches her fists and the movement ebbs away slowly.

He sits down next to her, close enough for her to feel the warmth that's radiating off his body.

Only then does Skye realize how cold she is.

She resists the urge to lean closer to him.

 

-

 

As a spy you need to be observant, keep an eye out for every little detail.

And with Ward being indeed one of the best spies there is, he is aware of Skye.

Or rather aware of how things seem to be shaking around her whenever her composure slips.

 

Ward has to bite his tongue to keep himself from asking her about it.

He wants to know what has happened to her but he knows she won't answer, so it's no use.

She hasn't given him a straight answer since they found themselves in this strange predicament.

All she does is evading his questions and turn them back on him.

 

"How are you feeling?" She asks him suddenly.

Her eyes are fixed on his, an unreadable expression on her face.

He has the urge to reach for her.

"I'm fine." He lies, but changes his mind halfway through it. "A little sore, perhaps. How about you?"

Skye tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and sighs. "I don't know."

Ward knows she's being honest with him right now.

It's almost enough for him to ask her.

Almost.

 

He hears shuffling from behind then and Agent 33 comes to stand over them, her hands on her hips. "What are you two doing out here?"

Ever since Skye and her removed the mask, Agent 33 lost the tenseness in her body.

She looks much more relaxed and far less stoic.

But maybe that is because she isn't wearing May's face anymore. 

At least one of them is doing better, he thinks bitterly.

"I am starving and I don't want to eat salty crackers again." She says, when neither of them moves and just stare at her. "There's absolutely nothing stopping us from having a decent meal right now."

 

Ward resists the urge to remind Agent 33 that both he and Skye are kind of running from S.H.I.E.L.D. right now, albeit for different reasons.

He isn't quite sure what Skye's reason is or why she isn't trying to haul his ass back to S.H.I.E.L.D., but for the time being, he can accept staying in the dark about her motivations.

As long as she's around, so that he can make sure she doesn't get in any trouble.

 

With a sigh, Skye stands up and offers her hand to Ward.

Their eyes meet and the look Skye gives him reduces any notions of declining her offer to help him up to dust.

There's no trace of loathing in her eyes.

The last time she looked at him like that was before he shot Thomas Nash.

 

He takes it and when her fingers curl around his, a warm sensation flows up his arm.

Right into his heart.

 

 

"Let's go get some breakfast then." Ward says a little breathless, when he is standing up and Skye lets go of his hand.

 

The three of them clear their motel room efficiently and Skye checks them out.

They aren't on the road for long, Agent 33 stops at the first decent looking town and they buy clothes to get rid of the rags they are wearing.

After getting changed and looking less suspicious, they find a diner and crowd into a booth, ready to have a real meal for the first time in days.

 

-

 

Skye isn't sure why she's still sticking around.

Sure, she has argued herself into believing that having Ward (and Kara) around is better than being all alone, but that isn't it.

She can't quite put her finger on the why but whenever Skye touches Ward, it's so much easier to ignore the itching in her veins.

Maybe it's because she's always been so aware of Ward, aware of even the tiniest bit of contact between them.

And she's been craving that contact for so long.

 _No_ , she tells herself decidedly, ignoring the path her thoughts are leading her down.

It's just the fear of being alone talking. _  
_

And for what feels like the millionth time since she started running, Skye wonders what her team is doing.

 

"I need access to a computer." Skye says finally, done with pushing her food around in the plate.

Ward and Kara look at her, then at each other. Kara looks like she's waiting for Ward's directions but almost immediately her expression changes and she looks back at Skye. "Okay. Do you have a plan?"

Skye smiles at her.

While trying to remove her mask, Kara told her how she was slowly starting to remember who she was and what had been done to her.

And Skye told her about Donnie Gill - another person, who was dead because of her, she thinks bitterly - and how he had managed to free himself from Hydra.

Skye realizes that Kara might be just as broken as she is.

 

"What are you going to do?" Ward asks her.

Skye shifts her eyes over to him. "Check on them."

Ward just nods, understanding who them is without needing any clarification.

But there's a question he's holding back and Skye knows exactly what it is.

 

-

 

The diner has a private room in the back, close to the restrooms.

Ward remains seated in their booth, a cup of coffee in front of him, while Skye and Agent 33 make their way to the two doors.

It's still early and the only other people in the diner are two employees, who both look like they are still half asleep.

Agent 33 covers Skye, while the other picks the lock and slips through the door. Then Agent 33 walks into the bathroom, but leaves the door open.

The mirror there gives her the perfect opportunity to check on Skye and the staff at the same time.

 

Skye told them she wouldn't be long and true to her word, after ten minutes she emerges from the room.

Agent 33 and her walk back to their booth, where Ward finishes up his coffee and stands. "We ready to go?"

Skye nods once, her teeth gritted and her eyes darting around, looking at the room.

 _Assessing_ , Ward corrects himself. She's nervous.

And it makes both him and Agent 33 nervous as well.

 

They leave the diner, trying not to appear suspicious but Skye's sudden change in demeanor puts both specialists on edge.

Agent 33 slides into the drivers seat and Skye jumps into passenger seat, before Ward has the chance to do so.

Once he closes the door behind him, Agent 33 starts the car and drives off the parking lot.

 

-

 

Skye knows that both Ward and Kara picked up on her twitchiness.

So, she isn't surprised when Ward leans forward and asks her, "What did you find out?"

Skye takes a deep breath and looks at him. "They are looking for me."

Ward's expressions change too quickly for Skye to follow them.  Still she catches some of them, first confusion, then doubt and lastly resolution.

Oh, crap.

 

"Stop the car, Agent 33." Ward says, not taking his eyes off Skye.

Her heart starts pounding against her ribcage, but Skye fists her hands to keep the tingling from spreading. 

"It's Kara." Kara says automatically, but seems to pick up his sudden change in tone.

"Stop the car, _Kara._ " Ward bites and she follows his order.

 

Skye turns her body around to look at Ward properly. "You gonna kill me?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

She's trying to hide how terrified is, but has the creeping suspicion that Ward knows exactly what she's doing.

"Dammit, Skye." Ward curses, and his voice is no longer cold. If anything he sounds exasperated. "Tell me what happened."

"I already did." She protests, her voice on the verge of breaking.

"To you, Skye. Tell me what the hell happened _to you._ " And only then does Skye realize what the expression on his face is.

It's desperation.

 

Her heart stutters. Her eyes burn. And before she's aware of what she's doing, she stumbles out of the car and starts running.

She can't keep it together, can't stop the tingling from spreading.

It explodes out of her and the ground starts shaking beneath her feet.

 

Still, Skye runs.

She doesn't dare to look back.

She can't take the sight of the car speeding away from her.

Of her last hope running from her.

 

Trip's face flashes before her eyes.

His last expression frozen as he turns to stone and then to dust.

A hand curls around her arm and pulls her back.

A sob forces it's way out of her throat. Even to her own ears, Skye sounds broken.

_Beyond repair._

 

Skye falls back against the hard mass of body and whatever fight was left in her, leaves her body upon impact.

Her knees give in and the only thing that keeps her from crumbling to the ground is Ward wrapping his arms around her.

Skye lets the tears come, lets them flow freely and buries her face in his chest.

"It's okay, Skye." She hears him say, his presence drowning out anything else. "It's going to be okay."

 

-

 

Kara doesn't know how Ward does it.

Managing to talk Skye down from a full-blown panic attack while standing in the epicenter of an earthquake and with two gunshot wounds to his side.

But he does and he brings her back to the car.

 

Skye looks miserable, her eyes puffy red and her teeth chattering soundly.

"I'm sorry." She says, over and over again.

She might be saying other things as well, but quietly and she's still sobbing, so Kara can't make sense of her other words.

Ward gently guides her into the backseat and slides in after her.

She lets him drape his arm around her and pull her against his side.

Kara tries not to stare at them too obsessively, but can't help herself.

 

Skye turns her face against Ward's chest and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. Or trying to.

Her whole body is shaking and so does everything else around them.

Ward leans his head down, his mouth close to her ears and starts talking to her.

What he says, Kara can't make out and she knows it's not for her to hear.

Once their surroundings stop shaking, she turns her attention away from them and starts the car.

 

"I'll find us a place to stay." She says quietly and meets Ward's eyes in the rearview mirror.

He nods once and then leans down close to Skye.

Kara fights the urge to smile.

It's really inappropriate, she thinks and keeps an eye out for a place to stay.

 

-

 

Skye wakes up in a dark room.

She doesn't even have the time to get panicked, because right when she lets out a little gasp, a nightlight flashes on.

"Hi." Ward says softly and Skye looks up at him.

He sits on the bed next to hers and looks like he might pass out at any minute.

"You look like crap." Skye states, her voice scratchy in her throat.

"Thanks." Ward says and he actually smiles a little. "You, too."

Skye's heart aches at the familiarity of the situation.

Like old times.

 

"Why did you come after me?" She asks him after a while.

There's no trace of Kara in the room and there is no sound of running water.

Maybe she freaked out and left.

Leaving Ward to deal with the mess.

Skye wouldn't blame her.

 

"Because you ran." He says, matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, because-" She chokes on her words and hopes she doesn't have to finish her words.

Ward gets up from the bed he's sitting on and comes over to hers. He stands before her, waiting for her to protest or move away. When she doesn't, he sits down. "Skye, I don't want you to leave. Not if you don't want to."

Skye doesn't know what to say at that. His tone is so soft, so comforting.

She adverts her eyes, choosing to look at his side instead.

The side she fired at.

 

How long has it been since he kidnapped her off the bus and brought her to Hydra?

And now he is saying, he doesn't want her to do anything that goes against her will.

"I'm sorry." Ward says and Skye looks up at him.

He leans in closer, close enough to make her feel his body heat, and starts again, "It's my fault. You wouldn't have been there, if I hadn't-"

"Been shot by me?" Skye asks bitterly.

He gives her a stern look. A look that is 100% SO Ward.

Skye bites her lip, fighting the onslaught of emotions that are threatening to overwhelm her.

"So, we both messed up, then?" Ward asks, his eyes roaming over her face.

Skye nods slowly and she actually breathes a little easier. "Big time."

 

A little voice in her mind reminds her that they haven't messed up.. they quite simply  _are messed up._

Both of them.

The traitor and the..

She doesn't even know what she is anymore.

Not an alien. Not completely human, either.

 _Monster,_ her mind suggests and Skye tries to drown it out.

 

-

 

This time they sit in comfortable silence, both their backs leaning against the headboard of the bed and their arms barely touching.

Skye takes deep breaths, holding them in for a few seconds and releasing them slowly. He lets her, trying not to disturb.

Ward isn't afraid of Skye or the weird things she seems to be causing.

He doesn't care about it.

Okay, he does, but not in the way that leads to assessing her powers and use them for his own gain.

He cares, because she does. And because it could be dangerous for her.

 

In that moment, Ward realizes that he isn't really angry anymore.

Well, he is angry. But his anger isn't directed towards Skye.

It's everyone else really.

Her father. Coulson. Himself, always himself.

Everyone, but Skye.

 

He can't really stop himself. The words rush out of him before he's even aware he is going to speak.

"I'm sorry, Skye. I shouldn't have gotten you off the bus."

She turns her head to look at him, a small smile forming on her lips.

"I want to say that I'm sorry for shooting you, but you kind of had it coming." She confesses and Ward sees right through the lie.

"I'm not going to leave, Skye. No matter what you say. Not as long as you don't want me to."

"We'll see." She says, but still she leans her head against his shoulder and closes her eyes.

 

Skye is fast asleep, curled against his side, when Kara enters the room.

She's carrying two bags and her expression can only mean one thing.

Bad news. Lots of them.

"Did you get in?" Ward asks, his voice barely audible.

She nods, dropping the bags and sitting down on the couch.

Gently Ward lifts Skye away from him and lays her down properly.

When he sits down next to Kara, she starts talking, "S.H.I.E.L.D.'s indeed looking for her. It says she's gifted, abilities unclear, but she's unstable and dangerous. They want her back alive though."

"Who sent the message out?" Ward asks, looking over to Skye's sleeping form.

"Agent May."

He nods, dread spreading in his stomach.

"There's one more thing." Kara says, causing Ward to look back at her. "I think there's someone trailing us."

 


End file.
